Thursday, July 5, 2012

Old Friends ...

You know you are getting old when u start to meet a person ,shake hands 
and wonder whether its been 8 years or 10 years we last met . 

                                       

Couple of incidences happened in last few days  it made me feel i'm 
getting old and inevitably made me nostalgic too. Went to a marriage and 
a friend comes around with smiles and shaking hands asking 
"Do u remember me ??" Although i remembered him with first glance
still took my time to recognise him bcos i wasnt sure whether to call him
 by his childhood nickname[not so good one to call] or address him
 by his full name,later i decided to call him by his christened name.So after
 exchanging pleasantries i asked him what he was doing,he replied he is a
Scientist in some @#$ research lab and working on molecular gentics !!!
 Yes you shud ve seen my face that time and was glad i called him by
 his fullname ;). Its not that i couldnt digest the fact that he is a scientist the
pblm i couldnt digest the years that ve rolled in between.He was completly in
 different clock regarding his career and my clock was a super slow one and 
still ticking at its own pace.Then we started sharing the old days stories of 
building treehouse,cooking in garden etc.

Then i met the another kindergarden days friend, he came so cheerfully 
with a bright white shirt and was so friendly as usual he used to be ,when i 
asked him what he was doing he said he is Personal assistant to local Minister 
here and said he is also his binami, was surprised to see him too in 
such different profession and was wondering what happened to his engineering
 degree and jobs related to it but didnt want to embarrass him so left the
 questions and said i was happy for him.

Suddenly a thought started to creep in my mind that everyone is settled in
 life somehow and am i the only person struggling in my career.As usual 
when thought goes wild i get out of it somehow,this time it was by night 
show movie. Filled with deep thoughts n not interested in staring at the crowd
i just went into theatre with blunt look and before getting into my seat 
as usual i stepped over the foot of unknown and as usual expected it to be 
some dashing girl with whom i can strike a conversation by apologizing
 and as usual it happened to be some random guy and as usual hid my 
disappointment and sat next to him.Only unusual thing was he was another
 old friend whom i know from diaper days and spent all our childhood in 
same neighborhood,he recognized me and we started to talk but i 
carefully avoided the question of what he is doing now and talked 
common things, then at one point the movie screen started to rise
 with a English unheard song and thats  when he said he is unemployed
 and struggling to find a job and came to movie theatre to kill his 
thoughts for few hours.Hearing this the theater went black out waiting 
for projector rays to fill the screen and the few seconds in btw the 
blackout and projector ray a soul smiled completely for the first time 
in the day and the next seat guy couldnt see his smile bcos of the movie 
theater balckout :) Simple pleasures ;) .Its not that i'm mocking him its 
just when my selfconscious cleared my dampened thoughts that its not
 only i'm struggling in life.
                                     

Most often this is wat happens ,v feel as if v r the 
only one suffering and God is cursing us alone.For most of the day i forgot 
that i ve such a beautiful life and i'm healthy and in my sound frame
 of mind. I not the kind of person who indulges sadness by seeing others
 success but everyman has his exceptions and i fall into that trap sometimes.
Glad i found myself back and rolling at my pace.I know my clock is
 ticking slow and i never predict my future but onething is sure for
 me, life is not going to be  like this forever its gonna change oneday and
 i dont know whether its going to be in favour of my side or not.This stalled 
life with less people around is boring and frustrating but having a life with
 not a penny in your pockets to spend and being alone is such a golden
 moments of ur life bcos i cant be irresponsible like this forever. I'm liking
 this phase of life and when i think about these days in future i'm  sure it ll give 
me a smile bcos of the way i'm holding myself , i'm quite proud of myself.