Davidson, hutchison , Macleod's , alagappan ...

all these guys r screwing me . They just wrote a book n died , now their book s killing
me over generation . my life has started to be influenced by them.



Intro am a final yr mbbs student , being overloaded more than i could bear. i wake run
to hosp as attendance closes by 7.30 ( missing a class leads to serious conseq like apology ,
letter, meeting with chief , then HOD - lots of protocol ) so better see my sunshine in
hospital rather than being fucked by them .
they leave us by 12.45 n i got to ve lunch n return for 1 -4 lecture hours . a tight schedule
n most things happen in hosp make us dumb.
continous firing of questions y v say this guy has this symptom , v cant just escape by saying a commonest 2 disease , u must be knowing all the 15 disease name for each symptom . it goes n goes n at one stage u become completly exhausted n right that time another question comes.

another thing s v got to know everything from the above books , which screws most of our time.
I wont say i dont ve time or busy, the thing s medicine occupy our mind n close all exit of happiness .

like - u dont go for any lateral thoughts .

- u just agree what others say, u dont make arguement .

- u just think 2 things 1. questions in today's class,
2. questions of tommorrow's class .

- u become demoralised on seeing others prep , u become depressed
when they answer a question n u dont even ve a faintest idea of where it starts .

- u get daymare when they ask questions like, 2nd & 3rd yr class where i was
just sitting without listening n chating with
friends , i hear voice of pharm prof rajaraman advicing us.

- u just pretend to be tired n avoid outings n friends ... it goes on ,

but its my life , so i cant just walk out ... i got go on. I'm just losing focus ,its natural
i ve been enjoying 31/2 years clg life n suddenly when i'm exposed to such environment
i feel vulnerable n really i was never focussed in my clg .


i can also feel the change in myself , i'm not talkative now a days , just losing
my sense of humour , dont make a big fun or anything , just get off my friends n move alone ,
want to pretend as if i'm listening every word in class .. my thoughts before sleep is related
to my incomepetence in wards. life s moving like time table , started to think how happy
i was THOSE days ...

i dont recite any phoenix stories or inspirational quotes
made by einstein or alexander to motivate me ,
i feel those r artificial motivation like cocaine or ecstasy
what i'm doing is

" i'm still holding the rope"

i dont pray for any super natural powers from god , i dont want to be like x or y ,neither i wont give up .

i want to work upto my standards n show progress ...

a progress which ll make me feel comfortable about what i'm doing rather than challenging stupidly like i ll get Medal in medicine n show who i'm . And finaaly i want to become a
doctor by all means ....



A sick joke to show how much my sense of humour has dried ,

Q : how to make god smile ?

Ans : Tell ur future plans .

Interview...

... inspired from another blogger. Just want to interview someone ,
my first attempt ll be with Arun. I love Karan's Devils ADvocate , he completly
studies about the person n fires his questions , there ll be no loose ends or sieve to
escape with diplomatic answers . so let me try that way...

arun i know u for 4yrs n we both r gangbang friends , but this place s going to
be Hot , really. questions ll be here, visit arun's blog n find the whole interview.

Hello Arun ,

1. how r u ? (its not a simple question by answering Fine or better but clg sucks, ward tortures
etc , it means how do u find ur self in this world , how u r to others ?
how r u in this environment )

2. you show arun as a very composed guy who speaks only to his friends , not active in
expressing things , but in blogworld u r completely a different guy n extremely opp.
Dont u feel it a contradiction , wat if i say u live a Double Life ?

3. You never look into others eyes while speaking that too while speaking to a stranger ?
U avoid eye contact bcos u dont mind them or u dont know to observe things?

4. Some say bloggers r a " Bunch of F***kS " n social dumbs, thats y they use this place
to express things . your comment on this statement ?

5. Do u believe bloggers are expressing their true emotions ? Eg.when a gal writes against
dowry or male dominance lots of guys comment as Cheers , hugs, genuine thought etc
do u beleive those guys r going to be The way they comment ?

6. Do u ve pride of driving ur car to college ?

7. Personal Diary Vs Blog ? which s the best ?

8. Do u think blog can reduce ur stress? since v r in final yr n being bombarded
with medical books do u feel a sign of relief after writing a blog?

9. What s the purpose of having a blog ? Do u think it can bring any change in ur life ?

10. You r going to become a Radiologist n continue ur parents Diagnostic Centres , then
marry a gal who ll be ur families distant relative or daughter of ur family friend.
Dont u feel ur life s a Already written script , dont you feel its boring to be in a
predictable way ?

11. will you Love anyone madly n fight against the whole world for her?

12. Have u got any dream that one day the whole world should turn your side ?

13. you r good or bad ? [ dont answer somewhere in between ]

14. " bloggers write poem , thoughts , etc to just impress others n make believe this s thier view . they do
such things bcos they want to be noted , it s way of making cheap Show " ur comment on the above
statement ?

ok .I'm done . it ends the first part of my interview . Planning to do Part II of this same interview
after reading his replies , still got lots of question to screw him.

something i want to tell ...

but ... ok its bcos of my alter ego so i couldnt. Let me use this place to
come out,which i cant do in coll in front of them ...
I'm not going to use names , just a single alphabet ( not first or last) , a unique
alphabet from thier names . ( i know some of them i know r reading this blog so
a cyber protection ;-) ...

-----> U - i miss u so much da , v had great time in II n III yr together in ur
room. u r such a nice person i dont want to miss in life. Just v r in diff postin n
busy schedule i cant speak to u much, nothing other than that. I always used to tease,
make fun of u n create a hell of cases against u , dont mind it .ok. its not that u r
so vulnerable , u r so sportive n dont matter things seriously. Apart from that u r
always my trusted one n i speak very openly to u . U always give ur unbisaed opinion
n i value it much. I want to be very close to u forever.

----> J - I think i dont ve anything to tell about u here . V both go well together
n there s no secrets within us not even cheap secrets. But neither of us control others,
i find it a matter of concern now a days bcos that v both ve same wavelength when v join
together the thing becomes BIG both good n bad . for now its great fun n happiness
but in future v must be reasonable n questioning each others. V r worst than drunken
drivers after night show , v r worst than bent pipe ladies in speaking gossips, v r worst than
the worst in all activities . But v always tell WE WILL CHANGE . I think time has come
for action in this statement.

----> P - u r a valuable friend to me . U r always available n so kind , its fun to
be with u , just one thing to
tell , u ve lots of gfs but i think u must change ur attitude , only speaking
wastes time n energy ... so start to DO something with them . I think u can understand my
point . doing something also wastes energy but not the TIME ;)
[ my friend can understand this point for others i ve to explain to avoid misinterpretation,
i meant he s a innovative man so i advise him to do tree plantation , coll welfare programs
etc etc with them ]

----> Y - u think i'm not close with u , i'm not free with u . bt its not like that . u also think
i'm too close to him . eventhough i tease with language Our language is not a barrier for us.
but i must agree even i feel odd distance with u, i think its bcos of our contradictory views
on certain things , for now v respect others views though v dont agree. Soon i ll cross over it
n completly be normal with u. I want to be a friend to u forever , dont ve any precise reason for
it but its wat i feel in this drowsy hour [12. 10 am]. one thing i want to make clear among us,
no indifferences within us , v r always TRIO.


----> E - i like u so much n u r the only gal where i dont see any actress impersonating
face .( most of the gals i speak do expression n slang similar to actress like most common
SS jenelia , Subramaniapuram swathy , K K jyotika - i hate such gals , stupids losing their
individuality which s the only thing others love in us)
but in the previous postin somethings ve changed my view , when i was always feeling
lonely i expected a lot from u , thought atleast u ll be supportive to me , but it dint happen.
I'm finding no fault in u. What i mean s now a days for everything i expect u , even for simple
things like about case, questions , tomorrow's work etc, which looks stupid for me , its even not good for my self . so i ve decided to move n
keep a distance from u n try to do things for myself without expecting u . U r always my
fav but wont be moving around u often. hope u can understand.


----> B- v both r stupids , no hard feelings , v must stop speaking the day before exam.
bcos everyone reads n only v both discuss how to spend the time in exam hall by simply
sitting . Even the day before our final yr O&G full paper exam v were talking about IPL
final n how to sit tomorrow ,then i went to sleep , hope u also did the same .


----> T - u r fun loving n serious man. Dont join with me n [B] da .. u r wasting time
with us in posting .Read with others , but i wont tell this straight to u bcos v love having
u by our side. ;)

----> V - never thought u ll be such a nice man. Its great to be ur friend. u r
very balanced n really i admire it. just i feel u r a bit controlling urself n hiding
ur nature in coll. U ve great sense of humour n timing but i dont see it in coll, just
within ur room u r king , i want u to be the same way outside, with others also, not just
with close ones alone. [ for that i'm not asking u to be like ( P) , its impossible for us , he
has natural power to speak even to JOy alukkas kerala receptionist -details below ]


----> O - just i walked out , thats wat u think ,its not so. I always was sincere friend
to u , but ur demands were too much n i couldnt afford that price ... see for a gal i cant
lose all my friends n individuality . u strongly commented my friends
, u wanted to change me, which i wont do for anyone . then u r
were too pretending which i hate in anyone . U do some things to hurt me which make
me really laugh n angry . Finally i came to know about lot of ur lies which made me lose
faith in u .... Its a bit difficult for both us , being in same postin but ve to carefully avoid
each other , hope will soon forget all things about u n start to look beyond u . But for now
i'm not going to play any mind games with u , if u wish u play .

Ok i think i ve completed . Its nice to do this , feel a bit lighter now. Will try to
do this in future also ...


back to the story -

[P] 's family went to buy jewels , when everyone was searching
jewels , he was searching for the kerala receptionist , found her n asked how s ur
hair so long n straight ? !!!! , no one can be like this , but the the story is still dere , she
smiled at him n they both spoke about this for half n hour . After that he would ve
surely got LONG n Straight ( no no, u readers r really bad ) hair.

P.s : children below 18 n heart patient dont try this , bcos [P] s professionally trained
n experienced man.

children above 18 do such things under his guidance .

P.s.s . Ganapathy , see i dint mention ur name this time, i respect ur feelings .