Old Friends ...

You know you are getting old when u start to meet a person ,shake hands 
and wonder whether its been 8 years or 10 years we last met . 

                                       

Couple of incidences happened in last few days  it made me feel i'm 
getting old and inevitably made me nostalgic too. Went to a marriage and 
a friend comes around with smiles and shaking hands asking 
"Do u remember me ??" Although i remembered him with first glance
still took my time to recognise him bcos i wasnt sure whether to call him
 by his childhood nickname[not so good one to call] or address him
 by his full name,later i decided to call him by his christened name.So after
 exchanging pleasantries i asked him what he was doing,he replied he is a
Scientist in some @#$ research lab and working on molecular gentics !!!
 Yes you shud ve seen my face that time and was glad i called him by
 his fullname ;). Its not that i couldnt digest the fact that he is a scientist the
pblm i couldnt digest the years that ve rolled in between.He was completly in
 different clock regarding his career and my clock was a super slow one and 
still ticking at its own pace.Then we started sharing the old days stories of 
building treehouse,cooking in garden etc.

Then i met the another kindergarden days friend, he came so cheerfully 
with a bright white shirt and was so friendly as usual he used to be ,when i 
asked him what he was doing he said he is Personal assistant to local Minister 
here and said he is also his binami, was surprised to see him too in 
such different profession and was wondering what happened to his engineering
 degree and jobs related to it but didnt want to embarrass him so left the
 questions and said i was happy for him.

Suddenly a thought started to creep in my mind that everyone is settled in
 life somehow and am i the only person struggling in my career.As usual 
when thought goes wild i get out of it somehow,this time it was by night 
show movie. Filled with deep thoughts n not interested in staring at the crowd
i just went into theatre with blunt look and before getting into my seat 
as usual i stepped over the foot of unknown and as usual expected it to be 
some dashing girl with whom i can strike a conversation by apologizing
 and as usual it happened to be some random guy and as usual hid my 
disappointment and sat next to him.Only unusual thing was he was another
 old friend whom i know from diaper days and spent all our childhood in 
same neighborhood,he recognized me and we started to talk but i 
carefully avoided the question of what he is doing now and talked 
common things, then at one point the movie screen started to rise
 with a English unheard song and thats  when he said he is unemployed
 and struggling to find a job and came to movie theatre to kill his 
thoughts for few hours.Hearing this the theater went black out waiting 
for projector rays to fill the screen and the few seconds in btw the 
blackout and projector ray a soul smiled completely for the first time 
in the day and the next seat guy couldnt see his smile bcos of the movie 
theater balckout :) Simple pleasures ;) .Its not that i'm mocking him its 
just when my selfconscious cleared my dampened thoughts that its not
 only i'm struggling in life.
                                     

Most often this is wat happens ,v feel as if v r the 
only one suffering and God is cursing us alone.For most of the day i forgot 
that i ve such a beautiful life and i'm healthy and in my sound frame
 of mind. I not the kind of person who indulges sadness by seeing others
 success but everyman has his exceptions and i fall into that trap sometimes.
Glad i found myself back and rolling at my pace.I know my clock is
 ticking slow and i never predict my future but onething is sure for
 me, life is not going to be  like this forever its gonna change oneday and
 i dont know whether its going to be in favour of my side or not.This stalled 
life with less people around is boring and frustrating but having a life with
 not a penny in your pockets to spend and being alone is such a golden
 moments of ur life bcos i cant be irresponsible like this forever. I'm liking
 this phase of life and when i think about these days in future i'm  sure it ll give 
me a smile bcos of the way i'm holding myself , i'm quite proud of myself.

2011-A complete year !!

Those who r in hurry n want to rush through this post to know about my
2011 need not waste ur time reading all stuffs in this post , just read the 
summary n quit the post bcos rest is going to be nothing new. 

SUMMARY : 

                         2011 is the worst year i ever had !!  
                                           I lose ,
                                           I lose n 
                                           I lose the left over too ...

                   [ Thank u for reading the post. Happy new yr for u ] 

Every New year i used to feel dull irrespective of the happiness n the friends
i got around. A kinda dullness that cant be explained n analyzed , its bcos 
every NewYear eve i used to feel that i haven't lived the year completely n i 
got nothing to feel proud that the year is ending.This problem is due to the 
problem free year . Yes, a year with dates rolling regularly , time flowing 
circularly , with regular circadian rhythm i felt bored that what life is this 
without no thrill and no huge failures to assess ourselves , no loss that hits 
u hard enough that u cant stand. Nothing happened all these yr i never agreed 
completely that one should celebrate New year. 

But this year gave me a complete year in every sense. A year full of ups ,
downs,downs n downs .I  never felt this desperate in my life . I never was 
this shaken in life before. I never knew people this much before. Life took 
a heavy toll this yr n i dont complain life ,bcos i got few others to complain.
I look at this year still at disbelief n wonder can things happen such like 
this in life.

                                                  

Love / hatred / betrayal / selfishness / hopelessness / lack of confidence / 
people's real face ..
this year was nothing short of a novel "The Count of Monte Cristo "  
and felt many times that my life is in chatteau d'lf  and still feel so by 
losing the control over time n mind .Hardly i cared about whether its 
day or night for me both means nothing. FYI i finished my degree
n had to be in a room all day this year to prepare for my future ,hope
this makes u atleast understand few things about me . But the most 
problems were not about career . 

                                                    

 The year ends with a historically low level of confidence and self belief and
i dont believe in wonders that from tomo everything is going to be fine bcos 
its a new year .Nothing is going to change until i get control over myself  and 
start to move . so the coming year is going to be hard and dont know when 
things will change and when i can get back to my normal mode. 

Lots of people to remember from this year without them this year wouldnt 
be complete. Few people gave the worst things they can give to anyone 
to make my year :) Thank u guys ! you made my year and i ll remember you .

Life never hit me this hard before and i was down before i could realise 
what had happened. 2012 is going to be the continuation of 2011 in many 
ways n lets see what happens. 

                                 "Every stone cant be named in this world"

                                                                      -sivasankar. 

Few stones helps u and holds u to get high and few stones make u to slip . 
But the reality is stones cant be named under a general category like this,
few stones which slipped u once can help u in other way and the stones the 
helped u ,can make u go high and finally pull off to give a fall from which u 
can never rise. So are people in life , Good and bad are never permanent.
People good to you may turn out to be the worst predators u ve ever seen 
and people u thought who r bad gives a shoulder when u r left alone to rot. 
The thing i learned or realised this year are that everyone cant be 
explained under a relationships .Few things cant be defined and better dont 
go to define just live with them like neighbors . Relationships are so 
primitive with few characters ,you cant explain every person and every 
person at every point of ur life under a relationship.

With lots of confusion and lots of issues to address the year ends and so the posts 
with a low note :) Happy new year to u guys.

Murphy's Law Of Government Hospitals

"A patient rushed to Out Patient(OP) room in wheel chair doesnt mean he is 

    very sick  than the one struggling to stand in a lengthy crowd " 

You can see this many times in OP,  Doctor doesnt gets panic on seeing a 
patient rushed in wheel chair  n he casually attends other patients n make 
the wheel chair guy to  wait. Common people who see this think the Doctor 
is heartless and the doc sitting in OP always ve a grumpy look which 
perfectly add to their accusation. The real truth is that a patient coming in 
wheel chair in government hospital means merely that he has bribed the 
ward boy/stretcher bearer so he pushes him n even recommend to the doc 
asking to examine him first.  

                                              

"The more elaborate u speak ,the less likely u get an admission"

Many people think govt hosp as a rent less hotels ,so just when they wish 
so,they come here tell all impossible syndromes so that they get admitted 
for a week n get rich dose of Vit injections and Glucose trips n get 
discharged when they wish. The worst case in this is son/daughter bring 
their parents to hosp n say all non-senses so that they can admit them in 
govt hosp where bed and food are given for free of costs and they can run 
away. These guys r easy to find n you dont need to be a genius to know 
their intentions ,these guys ll look stout with a strong aroma of a local 
perfume in contrast his mother ll be in rags n boat stomach , this guy ll 
use couple of English words to describe illness n he keeps on speaking.
The doc listens to him patiently n gives a smile which only the Intern n 
Post-graduate sitting opposite can interpret n finally says no to admission. 
The guy who brings his parents to hosp thinking its a dumpyard get 
furious n speaks these Doc r not working properly they ll admit patients 
only in private hosp not in govt set up ..etc etc, he even goes to the crowd 
waiting there n tells his story of how doc here r refusing to take care of 
his lovely/dovely parents . The doc watches this all n never tries to 
correct the facts or owe an explanation . 

"When u smile and respect  excessively to a Doc in ward it does not give u a 
bed to sleep , but when u smile n respect a little to a staff thats enough to 
fetch you a bed in ward "

 You might not know that a ward ll be having around only 20 beds in 
ward but the In patient strength in that ward ll be close to 65 , so now 
u can guess the the prospects of getting a bed in ward. so only 20 patients 
get a bed n rest got to sleep in floors in ward . So few follow a cheap 
tactic of wooing the Doc by saying lots of sir or even taking him to the 
height of god but he never gets what he wants , but few brilliant people 
smile n respect staffs in charge of ward and the result is they get a bed 
within 30 minutes.The only thing these staff want is respect n recognition 
for their never doing duty of ward in charge. 
                         
                                                 

"It takes 5 yrs to tell that a thing is abnormal but takes 20 yrs to tell a person is Normal "

Its a common slang among medico community n u would ve heard it often in 
your Chief's OP class if u r medico . The same goes with Biopsy report,
CSF study and  Blood culture report. Considering that most 
govt hosp are there over decades n pvt hosp r just a half decade old. 
This is why most of the biopsy reports comes Normal study in govt dep n 
in contrast with abnormal findings in pvt hosp :P

" Most of the Midnight urine samples are highly likely to come as urine 
sugar one plus and acetone positive "

The Lab workers who come for Night duty are so optimistic guys that they 
come to job with a bedsheet with them hoping to doze off before 10o'clock. 
So when u bring a midnight sample for test the report collector just pours 
the sample in sink n take the pen n write a positive value for anything 
eventhough the previous value was normal. As i said before they r 
optimistic guys so they go for positive value . Most of the guys who 
try to cheat follow this code . 

  " A repeat of Normal Ultrasonagram study is highly likely to come positive for mild pleural effusion or mild ascities "

 We all know the shortage of radiologists in Govt hosp n the heavy crowd 
waiting for USG daily so  the last thing they want is the same patient again 
coming for repeat usg. 


                       " A govt hosp x-ray film is like God " 


We can never define God ,who ever u may be,which ever religion u may be 
but when one comes n asks u to describe God n where u can see him , your 
answer ll be "Its everywhere n u cant see  him alone ,he is within everyone".
The same thing goes for x-rays , there ll be a dark shadow everywhere n 
lesion is definitely within these dark shadows,like God among us . 


P.s : Post not intended to hurt anyone . If someone feel hurt ,mail me ..i shall give a apology declaration in my next blogpost !!