Fucking Embarrassment of Life ...

Getting embarrassed is a very common thing n it happens everyday in everyone's

part of life... But fucking embarrassment is one thing that u can never forget n

regret till ur end of life for doing it.. Its just ONE incident that pricks u all time..

so with this here goes my embarrassment of life ..


This Happened two yrs back ...

I knew her n v were friends over text msg n phone calls .. though v both knew

each other well, v would ve gone out together only for 2 or 3 times . So everything

was going fine n one day this incident took place.. As usual v were speaking

in phone over midnight n time crossed 2 am , i was feeling very sleepy, almost

half sleep in bed with my face buried between pillows .. like every guy i

never wanted to end the conversation [ bcos it might upset her !! ]

n so was listening to her.. she was going like ..

SHE : i was so such angry with u yesterday but u stupid boy convinced me

so easily .. u r damm good in convincing me after whatever u do..

blah..blah..

[I was yawning n cursing me for calling her .. she again was continuing ]

SHE : Blah.. blah..

[ suddenly i caught a line ]

SHE : n all things u do really make me smile .. n I'm mad with u ..

She said it for once but the line was spinning over my head again n again

"mad at u " " mad at u " " mad at u " .. still i dont remember in what lizard

sense i was at that moment, without any go signal i proposed her ..!!

ok. come on ! what do u expect when u propose to a gal ?

1. Instant refusal ..

2. Asking time to think ..

3. Deep inspiration with explanation how u misunderstood her..

4. swearing u in all languages ..

5. accepting it saying mutual feel ..

so if anyone of this had happened i would ve been so happy.. u know

what she did ??

.... she LAUGHED ... she laughed like hell [ fuck myself] .. u know i could do

nothing to stop her laughing .. finally once she could get herself back

she continued ..

SHE : hey !! R u awake ? U know i'm already in love man .. u even know my

guy da..v all ve met n spoke ..just 2 days back v all met ..

dont u remember ?

Got a whiplash n got up from bed .. GawwwwD !!! WTF i ve did ?

How the hell i was so dumb in sleep that i could forget everything n behave

so so stupid ..As she said i know him n v ve great respect for each other ..

they both used to speak to me ...

Then i thought to reconstruct the damage , but against my expectation

nothing has happened .. she said

SHE : u r funny guy .. u know ? ha ha..ok rest well :) sweet dreams ..

The next day everything happened as normal n she dint even expect an

apology ... This incident was a huge embarrassment for me ..

i know that i dint or dont love her better than hell ..

but been so stupid in sleep that instead of replying "i too like u " for her

" mad at u " I said i love u ...

After sometime v both had to move away in our own ways n slowly the

everyday conversation reduced to wishing each other for all religious Festival

n our Birthdays .. I felt glad for this change ..

After that incident every moment this thought comes into my mind , bcs

she tells everything to him ..so when they ve discussed about this thing

"How would ve they laughed at me" ..grrrr ... even now I get pissed..

This thought occurs most of the time like

- waking up from bed n this flashes in my mind ..spoils my mood n i swear

me in all foul words ..

- evening lecture class when i used to scratch bench ..

- while seeing my face in mirror when i brush , i spit in basin n swear..

- when standing as fielder in boundary ...

Although v havent met after that .. I always ve this dread..

"what would it be like when i happen to cross them in future.. If it happens,

after she notices me, she would give her well practiced warm smile n he

doesnt know to give that smile would raise his eyebrows to recognize me .. but

after they cross me n out of my earshot again they will LAUGH saying

" he only did that one na.. " .. Fuck !!! I wish i shud never meet them again in

my Life ..

After this incident when i make or attend any late night calls i used to sit upright

in my bed n speak ..no matter how sleepy i feel i never lie down n speak .. : )

I feel this as Fucking Embarrassment of my Life..

P.S :

Was Tweeting a gal/women asking y dont u write any creative post? she

snubbed me saying mine s personal blog n i'm here to write my ramblings..

i got a doubt is she sarcastically saying that i dont write any personal

things in my blog n that doubt ended up as this post..

Good Bad vs Principle...

I always ve this doubt ..what is good n what is bad ?? , and what r the criteria

to differentiate it.. Atleast i wanna know who were the ones who formed this good

n bad ..

ALCOHOLISM

Alcohol is harmless when taken within limits , i also know the safe limit

of alcohol .. but y havent i tasted even a drop of it till now ?? My alcoholic history

goes way behind 6 yrs . It was during 12th std Beer got introduced to our group

, few friends started to drink with lots of doubt n false facts about it .. like

drinking beer ll cause impotence this n that : ) ..slowly the drinking population

steadily increased n the percentage of alcohol in Beverages also increased ..

Even now when we meet,

v go to bar n ve fun ..But still am non-alcoholic .. when friends see

me sipping 7 up in bar they frown n get annoyed.. When they prompt me or force

to drink it becomes just waste of their time ..No Results.

I go to Bar ,but dont drink.. Believe Me !!

I dont think drinking alcohol is bad or afraid of drinking n i dont do

this to show am different men in that group or i havent promised to any gal

that i wont drink.. Even my dad once gave me a famous foreign Tin beer

which came as a compliment n said it is nothing just 7% alcohol in it .. I

refused .. It may look am pretending in this post to show myself as Good..but

still i got doubt in what s GOOD ;) so y am i going to pretend to be good ?..

Off late i realized i dont drink bcos its against my PRINCIPLE .. Bcos

when something is told as bad n not do , I end up doing it like ..

=>When i was in primary school they told copying is bad - But I did

=> When i was in 6th STD they told speaking bad words s bad - But i Spoke

=> In high school they told same dialogue n but i ended up seeing Porn..

In my life whenever something is said Bad n not to do i took care

that i do such things ..

But regarding Booze my opinion s different ..I see ppl give 3 reasons for taking it

1. For Fun

2. In search of peace or to be Happy or Forget the sorrowfulness..

3. Women .. [ i wont agree with this one, bcos ppl who drink before love

say I cant tell my love so drinking n explain us how beautiful she is.. ppl who

drink in love drink tell this is to enjoy his happiness ..guy after love says this

s to forget her n find peace.. so anyway u r going to drink irrespective of

the gal's state in ur life.. ]

So this s were my Principle contradicts with alcohol .. I believe that

any form of happiness or sadness should be controlled by my mind n not

any other substance .. I never listen to anyone's words so how can i drink

n follow its command ..

This s how many ppl are..when u just say this s good n this bad noone wants

to follow it .. Other hand when he realizes for himself he never wants to do it..


owwww..grrrrrrrrupp.. sorry guys ,.. i dont know y i vomit when i take halfboil

as side dish..

Shud change the side Dish next time... see ya..!!

Love to Death.. [Guest Post ..]

Pre-Script - This s my first guest post. To Raji .she s a serious blogger, takes blogging as a part of life.. so i got to write a serious guest post without my usual sense of stupidity .. i dint like this story but since by blogpost count s very low when compared to others i ve to post every bit n pieces of my writing to increase the count somehow .. Here it goes ..

LOVE .. DEATH

He n Anamika got married recently n as usual they loved each other

for a brief period before marriage..

He s a civil Eng in a leading construction company n she a

program writer with rich father .She was unique - this unique doesnt

mean what all gals use in social networking sites profile in "about me" ..

she was really unique , bcos she

had BPD [ Bipolar disorder] (a form of psychiatric illness ppl with this ,

go to their extremes of mood either happy or sad ,btw they r normal ,

u cant easily diagnose them as most persons reading this blog r like that!! ) ..

And she was diagnosed early when she got her first depression n maniac

episodes after mother's death n

doctors assured her its very mild n she can lead a normal life with her drugs.

They were true she was quite normal after that n only once she got the

maniac form of elated mood thats when he proposed her ..

Like any other lover during love with a rich man's daughter

he dint mind about her illness n told her u r normal, only these docs r

confusing u to get few bucks from u .. she felt happy for him .

CHAPTER - I
He was starting his car from construction site to pick her from

office , he hated his job with dust n noise .. but she loved her office with all

forms of luxury n pleasant room spray ..

IN CAR

He : Hi ! good evening ..

She: gud evening.. u smell like a sheep :)

He : oh.. n u smell like n whore ..;)

she : ya.. i;m a whore to one man ..


IN HALL

He tries to give a instant hug but she resists with a smile n enters kitchen

.. it happens everytime n he curses himself " y these gals change after a yr

of marriage n becomes more professional even in bed "

DURING DINNER

Their conversation was mostly around their respective firms development n

movement of shares in stock exchange .. neither of them was looking into eyes,

during love when they had dinner the room fills with laughter n they had smiles

before each spoon of food n both used to compliment each other.. everything

has changed after marriage..

IN BEDROOM

After taking her tablet she checks the prescription for review date with the

doctor n files it back.. He always get irritated with her mr.perfect behavior of

filing things n even scold without knowing its going to save his life.. Like other

routine things making love also happens ,just happens within a time to make

two maggi noodles ..

though neither of them get satisfied they were too egoistical to mention it or

ask more.. Next day

Sun comes out n their routine continues as schedule ..


CHAPTER - II

one day she has to return home earlier... when she comes home n opens

bedroom door , she sees everything normal in the room .. her husband , two

pillows, teddy bear , a water Jug Except an extra 5' 7" feet

creature curling along with her husband in bed .

CHAPTER - III

She made a call to her father ... then she died .

Autopsy Report : suicide , cause of death - opening up veins in bath tub.

CHAPTER - IV

Her father "U killed her, bloody basterd, i dint like u from the start "

He "U r getting too hysterical ,what happened s an unfortunate event n

am feeling sad for u n ur daughter , but dont blame me, i think its bcos of

her condition ..."

Her father "Shut up !! all these days u dint mind about that (BPD) n argued

that she s normal , now to save ur skin u r playing ur cards"

He "Dont use strong words sir .. i find no fault in me, ok let me be open

with u .. i agree i loved her, but i was never satisfied with

her n found soon after marriage that

she can never satisfy me , but i never want to leave her for that reason n so

i found my own way of satisfying myself ..its very normal..think sir.. when u dont

like or bored with homemade food dont u go to hotel or get a parcel of hotel

food to home ..which s precisely what i did :) "

Her Father "I ve never seen such a smooth talking basterd like u in my life ,

i'm going to court of law "

He "ofcourse sir.."

CHAPTER - V

The court was centered around an as usual unenthusiastic n grumpy judge

with no ears for emotions ..

Her Father - This man pushed her to end her life..this must

not be taken as suicide , its a homicide ..

JUDGE - [ after verifying the neatly aligned her prescription files from first visit

of doctor ] was she a known psychiatric patient ?

Her Father - Its irrelevant to case sir ..this man's adultery caused my

daughter's Life ..

JUDGE - was she under treatment for BPD ?

Her Father - Lord ..but this man pushed her to ..

JUDGE [irritatingly]
- was she a patient with bipolardisorder ,under

treatment n do u agree these prescription in files belongs

to her n do u know her psychiatric illness before ..? say yes or no!!

Her Father - YES !!

JUDGE - Case dismissed .

* THE END *

P.s:

Q1- Do u agree with the judgment?

Q2- Do u think He is innocent ?

Q3- Do u believe her cause of death s due to her BPD alone ?

Boundaries ... PEOPLE .

OMEGLE.COM

Stranger : Hi ..

Me : Hi ..

Stranger : 21/ M/ here ..

Me : 22 / m ..

[ waited for the connection to get disconnected as usual when two same genders meet ]

To My Surprise ..He continued .

Stranger : where r u from ?

Me : India .. U ?

Stranger : china ..

Me : so i'm chatting with a communist .. :)

with this he got fierce n i was bombarded with his replies saying the only thing

u or anyone ask about a Chinese is " communist " " Red " " low quality

products " "poor people " dont v anything more than that ..

I was taken back with replies ,though i dint admit my mistake v continued

our chat ..

so after sometime i again mocked him asking "In ur country Facebook n Twitter

n all Banned na.. wat reason ??"

he Plainly replied " its bcos of censorship "

I replied " In India v ve censorship only for showing Boobs ;) " ..

when the chat continued he did know many things about india its currency

language . buddhism ..so when speaking about religion , i replied him

" I'm hindu , ve u ever heard of it ?? " He said " i know well n its the sixth

biggest religion in world n one of the ancient religion n in India more than

80 % r Hindus " I was stunned to hear this from him for a second bcos

till date i dint know about it n couldnt avoid the thought

WHO s really behind IRON CURTAIN ...

Then he explained about the rift between china n russia n the small war

they had in 1960.. I told him that India n russia r good friends for 60 years ..

Now it was his turn to mock , He " ya .know. u r good friend to russia so that u

can buy weapons from russia n US. u people r Good DIPLOMAT " .. now i clearly

know this is not gonna be a usual conversation about discussing

both countries gals r movies ..

I hit back strongly saying their role in pak arms n their support to

Maoists n smuggling arms to naxals through bangladesh .. he resisted first

saying he hadnt heard anything like that n when i started to press , he said

"i dont think my govt ll be doing like this n v dont ve interest in such things "

i said myself - now who is the BLOODY (red) DIPLOMAT ..

when the topic about war came his manner suddenly changed , n he explained

that war is not an answer for any conflict ,even if china wins ,i ll be the loser.

I asked " How?. He " already there r lots of poor people in china n war ll make

them more poor, education n infra structure hasnt reached many parts n

war ll only make them non-feasible for still more decades ..health n hosp

services r also weak here , outsiders only see beijing n shangai n say v r rich

but the rest of the china r poor by all means " God he was so genuine n

touching , n i felt sorry for my attitude towards war ..

Tried to convince

him by saying " u r Next US .. n now u r a Super power " .this made him

still sad , he " how u r saying our country super power when most of our

men r poor, i'm doing my education n not sure about my future n living

with fear of tomorrow ..its damm silly calling our nation super power " ..

I dint know where the conversation was going but i started to like him ,he

even said ur country also no diff ot ours n people need many doctors like u ,

so study well ..

Atlast when the border issues came ,i was in no mood to argue with him n

said watever u say Arunachal pradesh is a part of india from independence ..

His reply was diff , he " i dont care to whom it belongs ..but china has got lots of

land unused n without development , i wonder y the hell they r fighting for

a land with only mountain n rocks , if they want they can improve many

wastelands in my place n develop " ..with this v came to end n my opinion

towards him was completly changed..

I typed Bye but something was pressing me n i

couldnt press ENTER .. saw the monitor it was saying

stranger typing , it took a longtime n i thought its going to be a long reply

but it came simlpy as Bye alone .. [ same feeling ] I send my bye note to him.

still couldnt complete the conversation .. n v were waiting on both ends ..Then

finally v exchanged our E-mail Ids n bid Good bye..

so here i'm not going to explain anything about boundaries n people ..bcos

as v all know only boundaries divide us n not people. countries differ but

their people r always same ..

P.s .
1. Eventhough the comrade was so furious about thinking china as red n

communist alone , the colour given for his name in the chat room was

RED - Irony .. !

2. His English was poor than mine n he made many spelling errors ..gave me a

personal satisfaction ;)

3. was thinking for 2 days should i write this as a post, finally wrote for my

remembrance .