Fucking Embarrassment of Life ...

Getting embarrassed is a very common thing n it happens everyday in everyone's

part of life... But fucking embarrassment is one thing that u can never forget n

regret till ur end of life for doing it.. Its just ONE incident that pricks u all time..

so with this here goes my embarrassment of life ..


This Happened two yrs back ...

I knew her n v were friends over text msg n phone calls .. though v both knew

each other well, v would ve gone out together only for 2 or 3 times . So everything

was going fine n one day this incident took place.. As usual v were speaking

in phone over midnight n time crossed 2 am , i was feeling very sleepy, almost

half sleep in bed with my face buried between pillows .. like every guy i

never wanted to end the conversation [ bcos it might upset her !! ]

n so was listening to her.. she was going like ..

SHE : i was so such angry with u yesterday but u stupid boy convinced me

so easily .. u r damm good in convincing me after whatever u do..

blah..blah..

[I was yawning n cursing me for calling her .. she again was continuing ]

SHE : Blah.. blah..

[ suddenly i caught a line ]

SHE : n all things u do really make me smile .. n I'm mad with u ..

She said it for once but the line was spinning over my head again n again

"mad at u " " mad at u " " mad at u " .. still i dont remember in what lizard

sense i was at that moment, without any go signal i proposed her ..!!

ok. come on ! what do u expect when u propose to a gal ?

1. Instant refusal ..

2. Asking time to think ..

3. Deep inspiration with explanation how u misunderstood her..

4. swearing u in all languages ..

5. accepting it saying mutual feel ..

so if anyone of this had happened i would ve been so happy.. u know

what she did ??

.... she LAUGHED ... she laughed like hell [ fuck myself] .. u know i could do

nothing to stop her laughing .. finally once she could get herself back

she continued ..

SHE : hey !! R u awake ? U know i'm already in love man .. u even know my

guy da..v all ve met n spoke ..just 2 days back v all met ..

dont u remember ?

Got a whiplash n got up from bed .. GawwwwD !!! WTF i ve did ?

How the hell i was so dumb in sleep that i could forget everything n behave

so so stupid ..As she said i know him n v ve great respect for each other ..

they both used to speak to me ...

Then i thought to reconstruct the damage , but against my expectation

nothing has happened .. she said

SHE : u r funny guy .. u know ? ha ha..ok rest well :) sweet dreams ..

The next day everything happened as normal n she dint even expect an

apology ... This incident was a huge embarrassment for me ..

i know that i dint or dont love her better than hell ..

but been so stupid in sleep that instead of replying "i too like u " for her

" mad at u " I said i love u ...

After sometime v both had to move away in our own ways n slowly the

everyday conversation reduced to wishing each other for all religious Festival

n our Birthdays .. I felt glad for this change ..

After that incident every moment this thought comes into my mind , bcs

she tells everything to him ..so when they ve discussed about this thing

"How would ve they laughed at me" ..grrrr ... even now I get pissed..

This thought occurs most of the time like

- waking up from bed n this flashes in my mind ..spoils my mood n i swear

me in all foul words ..

- evening lecture class when i used to scratch bench ..

- while seeing my face in mirror when i brush , i spit in basin n swear..

- when standing as fielder in boundary ...

Although v havent met after that .. I always ve this dread..

"what would it be like when i happen to cross them in future.. If it happens,

after she notices me, she would give her well practiced warm smile n he

doesnt know to give that smile would raise his eyebrows to recognize me .. but

after they cross me n out of my earshot again they will LAUGH saying

" he only did that one na.. " .. Fuck !!! I wish i shud never meet them again in

my Life ..

After this incident when i make or attend any late night calls i used to sit upright

in my bed n speak ..no matter how sleepy i feel i never lie down n speak .. : )

I feel this as Fucking Embarrassment of my Life..

P.S :

Was Tweeting a gal/women asking y dont u write any creative post? she

snubbed me saying mine s personal blog n i'm here to write my ramblings..

i got a doubt is she sarcastically saying that i dont write any personal

things in my blog n that doubt ended up as this post..