Drunken Drive

Don't You know there ain't no Devil , its just God when he's Drunk .

- Tom Waits


Drunken people get caught when they drive after alcohol Booze n police take them to Nearest Govt Hospital to certify them Drunk , cease their vehicle n make them appear before court n pay Fine of Rs.500 to Rs. 1000 then give back their vehicle. Its a Routine process.

But every Drunk n the Author ve this doubt for a long time , " In a Heavy moving traffic How they exactly find the drunk ? "

When the Author was certifying a Drunk he could not control his Curiosity so He asked the police " How u find the drunk ?" . The police officer smiled n said
its not too technical or magical . Its a simple strategy .


Though its a confidential one the author wanna help poor drunks
who get caught often ,so he ll reveal the secret here , after all these Drunks contribute major share in nation's economy . Every year TamilNadu Budget s
based on their contribution .Every bridge, 4 way, IT parks ve their name in it.

So now the strategy :

Police officers got to show a range of drunken drive within their station limits
to higher officers say like 4 for a locality. So first they chose a Wine shop as a
spot. Now they place a policemen in disguise within the wineshop ..yes this s
first n basic part of strategy. He ll be sitting next to the man who sells u the
bottle , but u easily fail to notice bcos right after seeing the wineshop board u
forget ur surroundings n start to think about the booze effect.

Next the policemen ll see whether u r entering the Bar or just getting the booze
n leave the shop. If u enter the Bar then he notes ur shirt colour , bike model
n bike number . He passes this information to policemen who ll be waiting on
both the ends of road. When u leave the bar n start ur vehicle he watches the road u take n again signals the men waiting on that road.

So it may look that u r randomly caught n u resist by saying i dint drink n i
dont know what liquor means ..blah ..blah .He never listens to u n drags
u to the hosp to certify.


This s the scenario n so Behave properly when u r taken to the hosp. Dont be
silly like saying i know this Bigshot , im relative to that Bigshot , I dint drink , i
took only 3 ounce . Mostly educated men behave like this , bcos those uneducated
villagers who come to us behave so genuine by saying that " my mother in law passed away so v all got drunk " , " it was my sisters marriage so v got drunk
sorry sir " . Only educated men grumble n show his wife's ID card n all ..
ya. Its true .. And beware when u behave primitive like this u got face our
mocked looks n sarcastic comments .. Drinking s not a crime only
drunken drive s wrong so dont take it to personal just laugh it out ..
Answer the questions asked by Doc get the certificate
n pay the fine.Its that simple .. !

Now The Author ll give u the Invaluable Tips of How to Escape from this ..

- First s as simple " Dont drink n Drive "

- Second s also " Dont drink n Drive " [ Fight Club Effect ]

- Never park ur two wheeler before wineshop , if u do so then dont drink
every penny, save few bucks for Bus charge bcos after u get caught they cease ur
vehicle n after certifying u got to return from hosp to home [ one guy asked me
bus charge bcos he drank for all money :-) ]

- Dont wear attractive dress ,u get easily identified in traffic wear light checked
shirts which ll be difficult to differentiate n most ppl ll be wearing same shades

- Then try to bribe the policemen before they write memo , no way out after writing memo

- Sleep within the bar n go next day morning . This s a foolproof method . 0%
failure rates.

- If u suspect police out there , message ur friend to come n meet u in front of
wineshop .. when he comes take his vehicle n say " i wanna try this one today u
take mine " .

- If u r medical college student . no worries take ur ID card n show them .. u ll
be let to Go .. Bcos no medico ll be certified as drunk in any Hosp . Professional
Integrity !!. Police Know this well n wont waste time with u.

- Never carry Liquor bottles after u r drunk .. if u r taking it , then u r treating
the police men tonight.

Follow this simple Ideas n avoid get caught.

P.s .
Released For Public Awareness , The Author cant be held Responsible for any
consequences .. !!