about 2012. In short my 2012 is nothing but,
2012= shift + delete (except few moments.)
Life became hard after college days n still struggling to find a
way to get into my higher studies .. Like any medico i never knew
the difficulty n hopeless feel life ll give after college days. For past
two years my life has been limited to a small room with books n lot
of sleep n despair. Days,weeks,months n after 2 years i finally feel i
ve reached my breaking point. After all everyone has his breaking point.
Somehow i wanna get out of this place n find a beginning. I m so
desperate like i ve decided even if the results dont go in favour i
want to move in life with what i got. Finding a job ll be a very easy
thing only got to convince ur mind to settle for it .
After all these days i'm losing count of days, months, weekend ,
festivals finally now i feel i lost my mind too , losing my touch
of holding myself under any circumstances..I can very well see i
ve changed so badly n mind in so bad shape.I cant even pretend
to be ok now a days.Some days earlier i read my old blogs was
completly in disbelief was i the one wrote all such funny stuffs n
leg pulling incidents.
Being in a room all day for two yrs is taking toll in my sanity too.
. Someday i sleep by morning 11am when the whole world is running
after life n wake up by 6.pm n take mins to know whether its early
morning or sun has set.And Early morning when i wake up it takes
atleast half n hour to pull myself out of bed to get the day moving..
life moves at such a ominous slow pace i hate wall clock to such a
extent i want break it with my own hands.. somedays i lay blank in bed
staring at ceiling for hours and this doubt creeps in "Whether im a normal
person or having any schizophrenic pblms"
Atleast 2012 had its few best moments and a window of hope n
happiness ,now 2013 has seized that too n the window is closing
or apparently closed. With age u understand how least limitation
or control you ve about the things happen around you. You never
know who will walk into your life n you never know when they ll
decide to walk away. You can never work a formula for it or a
reason.Everything happens with a flow and its painfully true
that you are a spectator of things that happen around you. Once
i thought a man controls all his actions n surroundings even blogged
it somewhere ,now i would like to get back those lines.
Finally i feel as if the only window of my room n life is closing n
already feel suffocating , its high-time i move on ..
Its better i start to move my wheels , hardly one month all my results
ll be out n fate ll be decided . Even in any worst case scenario
i ll move on from everything and everybody. Life is not about
forgetting or trying to overwrite it with new chapters ,its about
knowing to live with what u got.
When i cant walk i prefer to crawl rather than expecting a crutch .
