Murphy's Law Of Government Hospitals

"A patient rushed to Out Patient(OP) room in wheel chair doesnt mean he is 

    very sick  than the one struggling to stand in a lengthy crowd " 

You can see this many times in OP,  Doctor doesnt gets panic on seeing a 
patient rushed in wheel chair  n he casually attends other patients n make 
the wheel chair guy to  wait. Common people who see this think the Doctor 
is heartless and the doc sitting in OP always ve a grumpy look which 
perfectly add to their accusation. The real truth is that a patient coming in 
wheel chair in government hospital means merely that he has bribed the 
ward boy/stretcher bearer so he pushes him n even recommend to the doc 
asking to examine him first.  

                                              

"The more elaborate u speak ,the less likely u get an admission"

Many people think govt hosp as a rent less hotels ,so just when they wish 
so,they come here tell all impossible syndromes so that they get admitted 
for a week n get rich dose of Vit injections and Glucose trips n get 
discharged when they wish. The worst case in this is son/daughter bring 
their parents to hosp n say all non-senses so that they can admit them in 
govt hosp where bed and food are given for free of costs and they can run 
away. These guys r easy to find n you dont need to be a genius to know 
their intentions ,these guys ll look stout with a strong aroma of a local 
perfume in contrast his mother ll be in rags n boat stomach , this guy ll 
use couple of English words to describe illness n he keeps on speaking.
The doc listens to him patiently n gives a smile which only the Intern n 
Post-graduate sitting opposite can interpret n finally says no to admission. 
The guy who brings his parents to hosp thinking its a dumpyard get 
furious n speaks these Doc r not working properly they ll admit patients 
only in private hosp not in govt set up ..etc etc, he even goes to the crowd 
waiting there n tells his story of how doc here r refusing to take care of 
his lovely/dovely parents . The doc watches this all n never tries to 
correct the facts or owe an explanation . 

"When u smile and respect  excessively to a Doc in ward it does not give u a 
bed to sleep , but when u smile n respect a little to a staff thats enough to 
fetch you a bed in ward "

 You might not know that a ward ll be having around only 20 beds in 
ward but the In patient strength in that ward ll be close to 65 , so now 
u can guess the the prospects of getting a bed in ward. so only 20 patients 
get a bed n rest got to sleep in floors in ward . So few follow a cheap 
tactic of wooing the Doc by saying lots of sir or even taking him to the 
height of god but he never gets what he wants , but few brilliant people 
smile n respect staffs in charge of ward and the result is they get a bed 
within 30 minutes.The only thing these staff want is respect n recognition 
for their never doing duty of ward in charge. 
                         
                                                 

"It takes 5 yrs to tell that a thing is abnormal but takes 20 yrs to tell a person is Normal "

Its a common slang among medico community n u would ve heard it often in 
your Chief's OP class if u r medico . The same goes with Biopsy report,
CSF study and  Blood culture report. Considering that most 
govt hosp are there over decades n pvt hosp r just a half decade old. 
This is why most of the biopsy reports comes Normal study in govt dep n 
in contrast with abnormal findings in pvt hosp :P

" Most of the Midnight urine samples are highly likely to come as urine 
sugar one plus and acetone positive "

The Lab workers who come for Night duty are so optimistic guys that they 
come to job with a bedsheet with them hoping to doze off before 10o'clock. 
So when u bring a midnight sample for test the report collector just pours 
the sample in sink n take the pen n write a positive value for anything 
eventhough the previous value was normal. As i said before they r 
optimistic guys so they go for positive value . Most of the guys who 
try to cheat follow this code . 

  " A repeat of Normal Ultrasonagram study is highly likely to come positive for mild pleural effusion or mild ascities "

 We all know the shortage of radiologists in Govt hosp n the heavy crowd 
waiting for USG daily so  the last thing they want is the same patient again 
coming for repeat usg. 


                       " A govt hosp x-ray film is like God " 


We can never define God ,who ever u may be,which ever religion u may be 
but when one comes n asks u to describe God n where u can see him , your 
answer ll be "Its everywhere n u cant see  him alone ,he is within everyone".
The same thing goes for x-rays , there ll be a dark shadow everywhere n 
lesion is definitely within these dark shadows,like God among us . 


P.s : Post not intended to hurt anyone . If someone feel hurt ,mail me ..i shall give a apology declaration in my next blogpost !!